Ask Alois!
by Gamer2008
Summary: Everyone's favorite sadist blonde is ready for some questions! Alois: Ask some questions or I'll gouge out your eyeball! Me: Uh... please ask some questions. -nervous laugh- rated M depending on where things are gonna go. xD
1. Ask Alois!

Hey guys :D  
I've seen lots of stories where anime characters answer questions, and of course I went looking for an Alois one.

BUT GUESS WHAT?

No Alois one D:

So now I'm taking matters into my own hands :D

**Alois**: God damn you're crazy.

**Me**: Look who's talking.

**Alois**: What did I do?

**Me**: EVERYTHING. YOU STARTED WORLD WAR ONE!

**Alois**: ...so?

**Me**: O_O

SO! Ask away :D


	2. Hooker boots!

**Alois: **Alright we got some questions!

**Me:** You mean people actually want to _talk _to you?

**Alois:** Shuddap!

* * *

_Misery's Prescription_**_ ask:_**  
**Yo Alois :D **

**Why are you so awesomesauce? And where the hell do you get those crazy ****  
**hooker boots from? Baiii :3**

**Alois: **I simply wake up this awesome. There's nothing to it. -laughs-

**Me: **Oh god... -rolls eyes-

**Alois: **My boots? I borrowed them from Sebastian. He's got a whole closet full at home!

**Me: **o_o S-sebastian's boots?

**Alois: **Yeah, I wasn't supposed to tell anybody. -pause- Oh shit... Well... NEXT QUESTION!

_Zeni S. Master **ask:**_

**This sounds interesting. Hrm...only two questions. **

**1. What are your REAL**  
**feelings towards Ciel? **

**Alois: **Honestly, at first, getting Ciel was only to torture Sebastian, but I did start to have feelings for him somewhat...

**Me:** Bad, Alois! Ciel will only take it up the butt from Sebastian! Right, Ciel?

**Ciel:** YEAH! Wait- WHAT?

**Me:** heh heh, he never learns.

**Alois:** ...Right. Anyways... next question...

**2. What's up with your head, sicko?**

**Alois: **If that is supposed to mean what's going on in my head... I admit to spending a lot of time reading Yaoi.

**Me:** -turns to look at Alois- W-where did you hear that word?

**Alois:** Claude explained it too me.

**Me:** Seriously?

**Alois:** Yeah. He writes yaoi. Mostly of him and Sebastian. But if I beg he will do some of me and Ciel.

**Me:** -sobs- C-claude! LET ME READ YOUR STORIES! -runs off-

**Alois:** Well I guess that's the end of that... UNTIL NEXT TIME. -blows a kiss-


	3. Cock Blocker!

**Alois: **There are more questions! -dances- Ole!

**Me: **Why do you people want to talk to this thing?

**Alois: **-hits me-

* * *

_mleleamur **asks:**_

**Well. This is enjoyable(: Mooooore please.**

**Oh, you probably want some questions for the beautiful Alois.**

**Alois: **She thinks I'm beautiful! Smart girl.

**Me: **Oh my god people! Stop feeding his ego!

**So, Alois, I would like to know how you ever got the idea of wearing those**  
**really tiny shorts. Or, shota shorts as I so fondly call them.**

**Alois: **Well when you've got legs like this, why not show them off?

**Me: **...

**Alois: **You've got nothing smart to say for once?

**Me: **Well yeah... you're right... I mean... those legs... -rape face-

**Alois: **What the fu-?

**Me: **NEXT QUESTION.

**I also want to know why you don't just elope with Ciel so that the two butlers**  
**can start a fantastic relationship whilst you two make sweet yaoi love**  
**somewhere on a beach! It's a great idea!**

**Alois: **That was in one of Claude's yaoi stories!

**Me: **Yes it was... :3 -evil laughter-

**Alois: **Well um... anyway... I hadn't thought about doing that. But it seems like everytime I get near Ciel, the Cock Blocker comes out and takes him from me.

**Me: **-laughs- You seriously need to hide yourself from Sebastian after saying that.

**Alois: **Sebastian ain't got nothing on this! -pimp sign-

**Me: **-facepalm-

**Alois: **Next questions pleasee~!

_Zeni S. Master **asks:**_

***falls over laughing* Hahahahaha! If Claude's there, can I barrow your yaoi**

**fics? I WANNNA READ THEM! *whips tear fro eye* Whew, well...**

**Alois:** Claudeee~! C'mere please!

**Claude:** What is it master?

**Me:** This lovely young lady wants to read your yaoi!

**Claude:** -glares at me-

**Me:** Claude? :'D Buddy?

**Alois:** Well, I see you two have something to deal with. While you do that, I'll be answering the next questions!

**1. If you like Ciel so much...then how did you react to seeing him in**  
**Sabatian's suitcase? (Even though I pretty much know the answer to this, I'm**  
**askin' for the lulz.)**

**Alois:** I was more happy than shocked. Teehee... you should have seen his supple body inside that suitcase...

**Ciel:** ...

**Alois:** OMFG CIEL! Wait that means-

**Sebastian:** -karate chops Alois' stomach- You told not only about my secret shoe closet, but called me a cock blocker... -dark aurora forms around him-

**Me:** SEBASTIAN! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN! YOU CANNOT KILL ALOIS! ...yet. HE'S GOT MANY QUESTIONS TO ANSWER.

**Sebastian:** I'll be back later... -grabs Ciel and walks off-

**Me:** -grabs head- Where the hell are my pills...?

**2. Were you surprised when Claude killed you? Or did you see that coming?**  
**(Frankly, I though Cei-chan was gonna kill you off...)**

**Alois: **Neither, honestly. I know he only did it out of love! He's trying to put me into Ciel's body! We've finally become one! Not certainly the way I thought it would go though...

**Me:** I don't even want to know how you were originally planning to 'become one' with him.

**Alois:** AND OF COURSE MY PRECIOUS CIEL WOULD NEVER KILL ME.

**Me:** Of course not... -recalls time when Ciel stabbed Alois-

**Alois: **Well, it seems to be the end ;D

**Me: **I'm honestly shocked no one has asked you and dirty questions, or flamed you yet.

**Alois: **I hired Claude to... rid of those types of people. -smiles-

**Me: **o_o

* * *

_I'm not responsible for any deaths connected to Alois! Remember, flame and you die :D Haha! Just kidding!_

_ But seriously. Don't flame me. Be mean to Alois. Just don't flame me. xD_

_Thank you for reading :D Keep reviewing!_


	4. Epic thrust!

**Alois: **God damn, I'm popular.

**Me: **If only I could be doing something like this with Ciel...

**Alois: **Is there anything specific you would rather do with me? -Host mode-

**Me: **W-what d-o you m-mean...? -nervous laughter-

**Alois: **-smirks- QUESTIONS PLEASE!

* * *

_Zeni S. Master **asks:**_

***goes into another fit of laughter* Here's how you get rid of Sabastian. One**  
**word: cats. (*couch*crazycatdude!*cough) I'm surprised Ceil didn't try to kill**  
**me when I called him "Cei-chan"...I think i'm gonna perminantly call you that**  
**since you didn't try to kill me the first time i call you that! :D **

**Alois:** Are you sure that's going to go over fine with Ciel?

**Me:** I'll tell him. I'm sure Sebastian will not want you near him anytime soon.

**Sebastian:** You got that right.

**Me:** S-sebastian? Where you there the whole time?

**Sebastian:** The young master fell asleep, so I decided to come over here and _watch over _Alois.

**Alois:** ;_;

**Sebastian:** By the way, you can't get rid of me even with- kitty... -chases cat-

**Me:** Am I the only one who thinks the strangest things only happen to ME?

**Anyways...**

**1. Can you throw a cat and see what happens? (ducks in a large hole) This is**  
**just in case...**

**Alois: **-runs over to cat Sebastian is chasing, picks it up and throws it into a tree-

**Sebastian:** ALOIS TRANCY PREPARE FOR DEATH!

**Alois:** o_o

**Me:** Sebastian! You can't kill my money-maker! -grabs ass-

**Alois:** What the-?

**Me:** Teehee... it's gonna make me rich someday.

**Sebastian:** -grits teeth and climbs tree to save cat-

**2. Also, can you kiss Cei-chan just to ** Sabastian off? I wanna see the**  
**outcome. 9puts on hard hat) Again, just in case. (tosses one to Gamer2008) For**  
**safety...**

**Okay, that's it. (ducks)**

**Me: **-catches helmet- Thank you D': -puts it on and decks behind a table while taking out video camera-

**Alois:** Cielll~! I've got a request from a fan and I need your help.

**Ciel:** ...

**Alois:** GOD DAMN don't act to excited. Anyway, you just need to hold something for me.

**Ciel:** -sigh- Well that doesn't sound to bad.

**Alois:** -chuckles as he grabs Ciel's hands and places it on his ass-

**Ciel:** A-alois?

**Alois:** -gives Ciel a kiss-

**Me:** I like how Ciel didn't remove his hand yet... ho ho ho... -nosebleed-

**Ciel:** S-sebastian!

**(Back at mansion)Sebastian**: It's okay kitty... I will protect you from any further harm...

**Cat:** Meow~

**Sebastian:** -orgasm-

**Alois:** Well Ciel ran away so I guess we should just move on to the next question.

_12marina21_** _asks:  
_  
Alright, well I've personally been waiting for one of these with Alois. I love**  
**that little sadist.**

**Alois:** -epic thrust-

**Me:** This has been added to my list of things I wish I've never seen.

**Now for the questions:**

**1) When you're in Ciel's body, will you try to flirt with Sebastian? (Because**  
**if you say yes, I'm totally buying a new video camera)**

**Alois:** Hell to the yeah! God damn, next to Ciel, I'd totally screw Sebastian.

**Me:** ...I wouldn't mind reading a yaoi with you two.

**Alois:** Just remember, with us two, it'd be super kinky. -winks-

**Me:** -shakes head- B-but that would be wrong! Like defying the laws of physics, or- or- going back into time and changing the future!

**(Back at the mansion)Sebastian:** I feel a disturbance in the space time continuum...

**Alois:** Who cares?

**2) Can I see some of that *wonderful* yaoi Claude wrote?**

**Claude: **Mine only.

**Alois:** And mine.

**Me:** And mine. :D

**Claude:** ...

**Me and Alois:** -smirk-

**Claude:** -walks off- My yaoi...

* * *

_Well, that's the end of that. I might write a yaoi with Alois and Ciel since everyone seems to be vaguely interested all of a sudden. See? Pop the word yaoi into your stories a couple of times and watch it get 3x as many reviews as normal._

_HAHA. Just kidding. :D_

_Keep reading and reviewing! Thank you all who have asked a question/faved/reviewed/or put the story on alert!  
_


	5. Getting sued!

**Alois: **-singing- Oh my! Feels just like I don't try! Feels so good I might die! All I know is **EVERYBODY LOVES ME**!

**Me: **^_^" You sound excited... for whatever...

**Alois: **We're getting lots of questions! Of course I'm very excited!

**Me: **Well, if you're so happy, why not send a thank-you out to everyone?

**Alois: **How about I just make my shorts even shorter...?

**Me: **Y-you can't do such things! No seriously, you can't. Any shorter and they'd be non-existent.

**Alois: **-ignoring- Or how about I dress up as a kitty cat? -smiles- That's definitely going down on the list of kinky sex me and Sebastian need to have.

**Me: **Alright, I think it's time for questions!

* * *

_Zeni S. Master **asks:  
**_  
**LOL! You guys are never not funny! I can't frikkin stop laughing! And don't**  
**worry, my mom accidentally took a pic of a nude biker when we were in**  
**Sanfrancisco (It was an accident!) So you aren't alone on the weird. YES! THE**  
**CAT WORKED! ()*grabs video camera***

**Alois:** Your mom... took a picture... of a nude biker...?

**Me:** Alois! She said it was by accident!

**Alois:** I need to meet your mother.

**Me:** Wha-?

**Alois:** Maybe she can help me *accidentally* take pictures of a very naked Ciel.

**1. Why do allow your home to have so many spiders in it?**

**Alois:** Because I love spiders! They are so beautiful and mysterious. -happy-

**Me:** Oh my... (He's so cute when he smiles normally!) -fangirl mode-

**Alois:** Did you say something?

**Me:** N-no!

**Alois:** Alright... the next question is-!

**2. Did you see what is probably the most popular scene in the entire series**  
**(episode 4-THE CORSET OF DOOOOOOOOM)? And what did you do once you saw it?**

**(FIVE BUCKS HE BROKE SOMETHING/SOMEBODY!)**

***presses record button* Okay, I'm ready! ...wait. (puts the hard back on and**  
**hides in the hole) Okay, go!**

**Alois:** Damn straight I broke something! I smashed the top floor window I was so pissed! That should have been _me _making Ciel moan like that!

**Me:** -gets handed a paper- God damnit, Alois!

**Alois:** What did I do?

**Me:** Ciel is suing us for sexual harassment.

**Alois:** Oh good! I can see him in court! Maybe man-handle him a bit...

**Me:** I'm not paying for this.

_VioletisinPain **asks:  
**_**oooookay! xD! this made me lmafo! i think i might have a question or two for**  
**alois...**

**you ever dress as a cat-boy to persuede(spelling?) sebastian to have a**  
**smexy yarn-ball romp? (xD! has nose bleed and dies!)**

**Alois: **-laughs- It just so happens we were talking about before we started answering questions. [a/n: I usually take a question, write, then get the next one. I had to literally LOL when I saw this question after I had written the beginning!]

**Me: **Be sure to get your camera's fangirls!

**Alois:** Should I even get a little tail? I should wear a really short pink dress... with some stockings with hearts on them!

**Me:** -perverted thoughts-

**you ever gotten it on with your sexy triplet butlers? (i would XD)**

**Alois: **once... or twice... or seven times... with all three of them at the same time.

**Me:** Oh my god! -confused, scared, and turned on-

**Alois:** You should see their [beep]! They are really huge! Then we started [beep] while Timber took [beep] and rubbed it all over [beep]!

**Me:** -covers ears- You shouldn't know such things!

**Alois:** I know a lot more where that came from... -smirks- Should I... show you?

**Me:** QUESTIONS OVER. BYE GUYS. LET'S GO ALOIS. -grabs- CIEL! WHERE ARE YOU? I NEED A FAVOR!

**Alois:** This is gonna be fun~!

* * *

_It's only been two days and I've gotten 5 chapters done :D Thank you all for making this possible!_

_And to the person who gets the 20th review, I'll write them a special yaoi with Alois and a person of their choice! 3 _

_I just totally saw your face lite up at that comment. Pervert._

_Keep asking questions/reviewing/faving/and alerting! Once again, thank you!  
_


	6. Butt virginity!

**Authors note:** Hey guys! Ms. Author here! I just wanted to quickly thank you, as the _author _for once. teehee. :D Thank you for the lots of reviews, and whatnot. It makes me so happy. :'D And Alois too! xD Do you guys like my erotic chapter titles? Yes you do... xD

**Warning: **Extensive talk about naked bodies, french people, dropping the soap, butt virginity, and new sex positions. Good luck. You're going to need it.

**

* * *

**

**Alois: **Lots of questions this time! I wonder if I'll be able to answer them all... I'm really tired. This person -points at me- never lets me sleep!

**Me: **You better answer them all. -death glare-

**Alois: **O-okay, then let's get started.

**Me: **I scare Alois Trancy? o_o

* * *

_TheLadyBluebird _**asks:  
Thank you so much, I've been waiting to see an interview with Alois ! **

**Alois: **Yeah! Suck it everybody else!

**Me: **I- uh... Just don't really have anything to say to that.

**Alois: **:3

**First question : Is it you or Claude who choose your clothes ? ( I mean, you**  
**know ... The short shorts ... Not that I think Claude is kinky but ... Well,**  
**okay, yes, I do xD )**

**Alois: **Of course Claude picks me clothes out for me!

**Me:** This explains a lot. Actually, I have a question for once too!

**Alois:** -sighs- What is it?

**Me: **-glares- I was just wondering since Claude has to undress you ever morning and see your luscious naked body... have you two ever...

**Alois: **Once. But it was cause I order him too. -laughs- He's so good...

**Me:** ...That turns me on.

**And by the way, I'm french =) Can I be your special french fan ? **

**( I swear I'm trying to spread the Alois Trancy love all across my country ! )**

**Alois: **Well since your trying to spread my love, yes, you can be my special French fan!

**Me:** -crosses fingers- I hope no other French people want to ask questions...

**If you want to spend holidays in Paris I will be glad to welcome you in my**  
**house * winks ***

**Alois: **I'll be sure to come over. -winks back-

**Me: **What the fuck! NO! ALOIS IS MINE!

**Alois:** Oh ho ho~ you are so cute when your jealous~

**Me:** THEN I'M ABOUT TO BE FUCKING GORGEOUS.

**Alois: **o_o not so pretty anymore...

* * *

_svehla_** asks:  
Wahh...,this Alois's interview is fun,interesting,and...,make me want to see**  
**the next chapter of course...,hahaha...**

**Please allow me ask Alois these questions:**

**1. Which do you prefer as your night-time mate? Girl or Guy?**

**Alois: **Guy... and girl... at the same time.

**Me:** You're such a slut.

**Alois:** ...Why thank you!

**Me:** ...How many people have you done it with?

**Alois:** You don't get to ask questions.

**Me:** :l

**2. Choose one please: French kiss with Ciel or make out with Claude!**

**Alois: **...Can it go further? Cause then I'd french Ciel. I'd steal his lips' virginity! Then his other virginity.

**Me:** Hey! You take Claude! So Ciel will feel sad for being rejected and need a shoulder to cry on! That's where I come in. -superhero background music-

**Ciel:** Did I ever agree too any of this?

**Me:** You should just play along. If you don't, someone might die.

**Ciel:** -looks at Alois- I'm willing to take that chance...

**Me:** It's 96% you that's gonna die.

**Ciel:** And the other 4% percent?

**Me:** ...me...

**Alois:** Well at least she knows.

**3. If someday in the future, Hannah ask you to marry her, how you answer her?**

**Alois and Me: **Kick the dumb bitch in the face! -looks at each other-

**Alois: **You would really...?

**Me: **She needs to die.

**Alois: **You look scary... D:

**Me:** It happens.

* * *

_VioletIsInPain_** asks:  
XD! yay! grabbs camera and dances! this just getts stranger and stranger with**  
**each chapter!**

**o.o...oh i have a good one **

**Alois: **Bring it!**  
**

**1. would you rather have Grell dress you for a month or have to sleep with**  
**R-patz from twilight? (i personally would take grell any day over r-patz Xp**  
**yuck!)**

**Alois: **Have Grell dress me of course! Cause he has connections. And have you seen that William? Oh man, he is fine! DAT ASS.

**Me:** I'd rather die.

**Alois:** But she didn't ask you, did she?

**Me:** Do you wanna die boy?

**Alois: **D': even scarier!

**2. could you listen to the undertaker laugh nonstop for an entire hour if in**  
**exchange you got ciel for an hour?**

**Alois: **Only if I could-

**Me:** Fuck him, right?

**Alois:** No I was gonna say take him out to a fancy restaraunt, while having a nice classy dinner, pay for everything, then walk him back home.

**Me: **:O ...

**Alois:** OF COURSE FUCK HIM. So yes. Yes I would.

**Me:** There's so much I need to learn...

* * *

_Zeni S. Master_** asks:  
Hey! Me again! And he should sue you! ...now that I think about it, most of**  
**the questions have been more or less about Cei-chan...hrm. Oh well. Anyways.**

**Alois: **You want me sued? But they could sentence me to jail! Then I'd drop the soap and someone would take my from behind! -shudders-

**Me:** ...really?

**Alois:** Then I'll lose my precious butt virginity...

**Me:** Uh...

**Alois: **I've never gotten up the butt, since I'm SO GOD DAMN SEME.

**Me:** -gasp- No, that's just means you haven't lost your virginity!

**Alois:** N-no! MY ENTIRE IMAGE JUST WENT DOWN THE TIOLET. -cries-

**Me: **You should pay Sebastian to steal your 'butt virginity' for you.

**Alois:** HELL NO. If anyone is getting paid, it's me!

**Me:** Let's just talk about this later...

**1. Why do you like spiders so much?**

**Alois: **I believe I've already answered this question. But, just to recap, I like them because they are beautiful and mysterious!

**2. Why would my mom even do that? She doesn't even watch Kuroshitsuji. She and**  
**I saw Nabari no Ou. So why would she have any reason to do that? **

**Alois: **Your mom doesn't watch Kuroshitsuji? Angry face!

**Me:** Your mom watched Nabari No ou? Happy face!

**You're a sicko JIM! XP**

**Alois: **Don't call me JIM!**  
**

* * *

_meleleamur_** asks:  
:D i loved that. It was so funny. goooood chapter! :D Oh, and questions for**  
**Alois, of course! ^_^**

**1. Why do you have to cry so much? It makes me really sad.**

**Alois:** I- I don't cry a lot! Why would you say that? -tears form- I don't cry! I DON'T!

**Me:** Of course you don't... -holds Alois- Just let it out...

**Alois:** (whispers) That's what she said...

**Me:** ALOIS! -throws him off of her-

**Alois: **-snickers-

**2. Are you from sweden? you look like your from sweden.**

**Alois: **What's a sweden? Oh wait! Isn't that a sex position?

**Me:** O_o

**Alois:** Me and Ciel should try that position out! Do you have any idea what it's like?

**Me:** U-uh, I'm p-pretty sure that S-sweden is a country...

**Alois:** ...Well me and Ciel should still have sex.

**Me:** (They should... while I record...) Never!

**Alois:** Jesus! It must be your time of month!

**Me:** I-it's not... -cries-

**Alois:** Well we should probably end it before any of you have to watch me die... (again) See ya! -winks-

* * *

1,700 something words this time... you know what that means! A lot of questions!

Or fights between me and Alois :l

But either way, thank you all :3 STAY BEAUTIFUL!


	7. Viagra!

**Alois: **Guess what?

**Me:** What?

**Alois:** You're very good at being lazy.

**Me:** N-no! That's not it! I'm very busy!

**Alois:** Busy and lazy are not the same things.

**Me: **Clearly!

**Alois: **Just admit it, you're lazy.

**Me:** I'm not lazy! –cries-

**Alois:** -shifty eyes- Let's start then, shall we?

* * *

_Svehla_ **_asks_:**

**Thank you for answering my questions...^_^**

**I have a question for Alois:**

**Alois, If you want to sing a song for Ciel, what that song will be? Let me**  
**guess: 'All the things she said' by T.a.t.U but you replace all 'she' words**  
**with 'he'...,Am I true?**

**Alois:** What? I've never heard that song before.

**Me:** -sigh-

**Alois:** But I think it would be 'S my D' by Blood On the Dancefloor.

**Me: **-shudders- What a lewd song.

**Alois:** I know. –smiles-

**Alois, what's your favorite color and your favorite film? I want to know about**  
**it...,thanks before...**

**Alois:** My favorite color is purple!

**Me:** -facepalm- It's so obvious!

**Alois:** And I don't have a favorite film. I'm not into movies much.

**Me:** We should watch something scary!

**Alois:** -looks at me- Okay, done.

**Me:** :l

* * *

_VioletIsInPain_ **asks:**  
**hmmm i see your point about william...but now good sir you will have to die!**  
**(pulls out pluto and aims!) look! that little boy with the blonde hair slept**  
**with sebastian!(steps back from teh blaze!) sorry about that but i have to**  
**keep the oh so soulless and smexy william to my self..dont worry though i**  
**still love you alois! and you also Gamer2008!**

**Alois:** There is no God!

**Me: **-pushes Alois in front of me-

**Alois:** You bi-! –gets burned-

**Me:** I-is it over…?

**Alois:** Fuck me.

**Me:** Can I really!.?

**Alois:** o_o

**here goes nothing!**

**1. besides the obvious, why all the hate towards hannah? she worships the**  
**ground you walk on! (shudders and hides in bush) i dont like her myself, but i**  
**wanted to know!**

**Alois:** SHE'S A FUCKING SLUT! BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH.

**Me:** And the question has been answered.

**Alois:** There's nothing really else to say.

**Me: **I love you.

**ciel and sebastian would you love to do the naked tango with in his**  
**staff: finny, bard,...0.o uh tanaka?..never mind omit that last one!**

**Alois:** Tanaka! I love my men older. –sexy pose-

**Me:** Tanaka is like, eighty!

**Alois:** -moans-

**Me:** OH LORD.

* * *

_Sebastian's Servant_ _Felicia **asks:**_  
**Alois i love you! i wan to cuddle you to death**

**Alois:** I'm so damn loved.

**Me: **That's nothing new.

**Alois:** So why does everyone want Ciel? –sniff-

**Me:** Sad face.

**questions;**

**1) would you marry me (i kno you're around 16 and im 17)**

**Me:** Alois is actually 14!

**Alois:** That doesn't make your chances any better.

**Me:** B-but I'm 13!

**Alois:** I don't date younger. Or women.

**Me: **Sebastian would date me.

**Alois:** Only if you were racked, which you're not. Or a boy, which you're not.

**Me: **-thinks- Oh my gah! You're right!

**2) if not can i work at your manor?**

**Alois:** Sure, why not? But you've got to clean the entire mansion. And by the time your done with the second half, the first half should already be dirty again.

**Me:** You do it just to piss your servants off, don't you?

**Alois:** What?.! Never! I'm too nice.

**Me:** …PFTTTT- HAHAHAHAHA.

**Alois: **Bitch.

**3) *hands alois a list of classmates* can you send claude to knock them off**  
***or impregnant the first three on the list***

**Me:** No! No one can have Alois' babies but me and Ciel! And sometimes Claude!

**Alois: **Why don't I get a say in anything? –looks down list- Claude!

**Claude:** What is it, master?

**Alois:** Please go kill these people. –hands Claude the list-

**Claude:** Yes, your highness. –takes paper and goes off-

**Me: **I'm not responsible for any deaths!

**4)do you like cats**

**Alois:** They're alright. I much rather prefer dogs. But cats are always fun to dress up Ciel in.

**Me: **I have pictures!

**Alois:** He looks so good in nothing but kitty ears and tights.

**Me:** -nods-

**5) have you dreamed ciel in tights?**

**Alois:** Possibly… -smiles-

**Me: **Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did we ever end up finding Ciel?

**Alois:** -creepy smirk- No...

**Me:** -raises eyebrow-

**(At the Trancy Manor)**

**Claude: **Oh, the master will definitely be happy with me when he's seen what I've done to you!

**Ciel:** GET ME OUT OF THIS!

**Sebastian:** But Bocchan, that kitty outfit looks so good on you...

**Ciel: **SEBASTIAN!

**Me: **Holy shit, I hear the screams from here.

**Alois:** You shouldn't worry about it.

**6) do you like batman?**

**Alois:** I guess, but I prefer Superman, cause he wears tights.

**Me:** Doesn't batman wear tights too? In fact I think most of the superheros do.

**Alois: **Maybe I should stop wearing these short shorts and just wear tights.

**Me: **Tights... or short shorts...? HOW CAN I CHOOSE?

* * *

_Lucia d' Neko-Kyuuketsuki **asks:**_  
**Kyahaha~**

**Such a funny brat here! *killed***

**Umm...Ahh...How about...The question?**

**Alois:** Good choice.

**Which one you prefer, a kitten or...hello kitty?**

**Alois: **Kittens! Because if cats are near me, then Sebastian will be too!

**Grell:** Better back of my sebby bitch.

**Me:** GTFO FAG.

**Alois: **N-next question...

**By the way! I'm a cat-vampire!**

**Sebastian : *kitten eyes* *o* Woooowwww! Vampire and kitten in a pack!**  
**B-e-a-utiful!**

**Kitty : Yeah...That's because you love such a feline things so much! I wanna**  
**know, do you love Grimmy too? (Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez. From Bleach. He's a cute  
kitty ya know)But if you love him, that's mean...*blush* NOOOOO!**

**Alois: **Since Gamer doesn't watch Bleach I can't either...

**Me:** Believe it!

**Alois: **Don't be fooled. She doesn't watch Naruto either.

**Grimmjow : Hey, Kitten! Long time no see!**

**Kitty : WHAT THE **? WHY ARE YOU HERE?**

**Grimmjow : Aw~ Am I not able to visit my beloved kitten~?**

**Kitty : Jeez...You're annoying! Gah! I prefer Claude~**

**Claude : *smile softly* Thank for it my Lady.**

**Kitty : *blush* Kyahaha~ Such a sweet butler.**

**Sebastian : *planting mushroom at the corner* what the hell is that...My**  
**kitten like that kumoshitsuji more than me...Ahh...What a tragic...**

**Grell : Ah~ Sebby~ But you still have me~**

**Alois: **G-grell is back?

**Sebastian : No...I don't want you...You're disgusting...**

**Grell : *crack***

**Alois: **You tell him Sebastian! -seductivness-

**Kitty : Kyahaha~ So, Alois~ May I have your sweet spider~? May I? May I? Huh?**  
**Huh? Huh?**

**Alois: **You want... Claude? But who will write yaoi with me and Ciel?

**Me: **... I can do it...

**Alois:** Really?

Me: No.

**Alois:** -sniff-

**Me: **HOW CAN I SAY NO?

**Alois:** -smirk-

**Ciel : You mustn't ask that. The answer is-**

**Kitty : I'm asking you...*coldly***

**Ciel : *planting mushrooms with Sebastian***

**Kitty : Huh? Since when that text been pinned on there? **

***the wall at the corner where Sebastian and Ciel planting mushroom has a**  
**poster with 'mushroom corner' on it***

**Umm...This won't finish if I keep talking with that idiots. Ah! Not you**  
**Claude! ARGH! UPDATE!**

**Me:** I update as frequently as possible!

**Alois: **Lazy~

* * *

_Zeni S. __Master_**_ asks:_**  
**Haha! Don't deny your real name! And yeah, I saw Nabari with my mom...and she**  
**surprisingly liked it.**

**Me: **Coolest. Mom. Ever.

**Alois: **So many anime with shotas! Who do you like better, me or that Miharu?

**Me: **Well, Miharu is too apathetic for me. Kinda reminds me of Ciel. And those two remind me of Ristuka from Loveless. It's all a big circle of dark haired apathetic shotas.

**Alois:** You mean, there are more Ciel's out there? Gotta fuck 'em all! Shota boys!

**Me:** And you've all expeirenced Alois' new theme song.

**1. Was that old man creepy? (The one yo were sold to in your past.)**

**Alois:** Yes, and he always abused me...

**Me: **-teary eyed-

**Alois:** But it was so god damn kinky! I LOVED IT!

**Me:** Way to ruin the mood.

**Alois:** Just being honest. -smiles-

* * *

_RenKun- Sensei **asks:**_  
**Whaa~ Alois I love you do you love meee!**

**Alois:** Well-

**Me:** No! He only loves me!

**Alois:** Clingy.

**Okie dokie~ Question time!**

**1) Would you ever ** a cat just to make Sebastian get a boner?**

**Alois: **'You know what' wouldn't fit inside the tiny cat.

**Me:** I bet you're really tiny anyway.

**Alois: **That's what Claude says. Then he writes a yaoi with me as the uke and Ciel as the seme. -looks down-

**Me:** ...It's alright buddy, I'll buy you some viagra for you birthday. Happy face!

**Alois:** What's viagra?

**Me:** Srsly noa.

**Alois:** -smile-

* * *

_Scratcher-cat **asks:**_  
**My question: What would happen if you ** Ciel off enough for him to make**  
**Sebastian leave you alone in a dark room all night? (Yes, I totally want to**  
**read about this, soooo much!) And then show s what he's like when you let him**  
**out in the morning! 3**

**Alois:** Ciel would never lock me in a dark room! He loves me too much.

**Me:** You need some help if you still think, that after all he's done, that Ciel loves you!

**Alois:** ...You know what? You can crush my spirits. You can crush my dreams. But please, respect them a little. If I told you that you were going to end up a lonely 40-year old virgin, what would you do? Cry right? Because I know you want to be a doctor. And I know you would be hurt if I told you that you couldn't do it. But I'm not like you. I won't crush your dreams, like you crush mine. -deep-

**Me:** ...I raped you.

**Alois:** W-wha-?

**Me:** I can't be a 40 year old virgin, because _I. raped. you._

**Alois:** I-I...

**Me:** You haven't answered the question yet.

**Alois:** S-should I...? Because I don't want too if you're just going to tell me more disturbing things...

**Me:** Oh if that's disturbing you don't want to know what I've done to Sebastian and Ciel before I knew you...

**Alois:** ...

**Me: **BLAME IT ON THE BOOZE! GOT YOU FEELING YOU LOOSE! BLAME IT ON THE... er- something... GOT YOU FEELING... something! BLAME IT ON THE A- A- A- ALCOHOL!

* * *

_BloodyxCupcake **asks:**_  
**Nye~Because I'm bored out of my mind, and I think I'm on crack while asking**  
**this. **

**Alois:** You do crack too?.! Can you give me some? Gamer won't give me anymore. She keeps it all to herself. -pouts-

**Me: **I see PRETTY COLORS. Alois! Your hair...! -molests hair with hands- heh heh heh...

**Alois:** -grumpy-

**Pretty obvious for an answer, please tell me I'm wrong.**

**But, whatever.**

**Alois, what ARE you're true feelings to Hannah? Do you really hate her or did**  
**you keep your love till the very last moment?**

**Alois:** She was able to love me, even though Claude didn't.

**Me:** Even I gained a little respect for her. She truly cared about Alois and his feelings.

**Alois: **She made me happy.

**Both:** -teary eyed-

**Me:** Alois! -hugs-

**Alois:** Gamer! -hugs-

**Oh and can you lend meh Claude's fanfics? I wanna read them too~! 3'**

**Claude:** No.

**Alois:** Claude! When did you get here?

**Claude:** I came as soon as I heard my name.

**Me: **Why don't you let the fans read your fanfics?.!

**Claude:** ...

**Me:** ASSHAT!

**Alois:** Well, it was fun while it lasted!

**Me:** I guess.

**Alois:** Why so serious?

**Me:** -punches Alois in the mouth-

**Alois:** Shank yoo fer teh qwuestions...

**Me:** Thank you!

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you especially for putting up with my lazyness! I'm so sorry I made you guys wait, I've honestly been VERY busy. I have school, then volleyball, then softball everyday. By the time I get home it's usually already 9 o clock at night. Then I have homework and shower... and then I'm just exhausted. But thank you all for sticking by me and reviewing!

Keep the questions coming! Thank you for the reviews/favorites/alerts/etc.


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